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From
a rival recruitment newsletter (spit, spit) - "Conflict between
two members of your team is one of the most difficult situations you
have to deal with as a team leader. The most important thing to do
when problems arise is to deal with them as quickly as possible". Rubbish! The most important thing is to sit back and enjoy the show! |
And frankly, if you are a team leader and there's no conflict, your key duty is to create some.
Because, in the real world, there's few things that make work more worthwhile than a box seat watching two colleagues going at each other hammer at tongs. Especially when they're fighting over an issue which is core to the corporate vision - for example the problem of "Why did you borrow my calculator without asking?" Now, from the outside, borrowing a calculator to work out how many minutes there are to go before you can slink off to the pub doesn't seem such a big deal - the infernal machine is company property and 30 seconds use of an A4 battery isn't exactly grand larceny, is it?
But, do it in a "highly-motivated, team-based work environment" and it's a crime that makes Robert Maxwell seem as if he merely stole a penny from the guy. The best are the ones that erupt from nowhere, especially when they escalate from a standing start to a stand up row in about five seconds. As the flood of abuse really gets flowing, the rest of us hang our heads pretending not to hear a word - while committing every single one to memory to feed into the office gossip machine which will get the news around the entire company before you can say "let's keep this quiet, shall we?" As Brian, the quiet one from finance who has spent his entire career finding bushes and then gently beating round them, shouts, swears and storms around the office, clearly having forgotten the finer points of negotiation, a terrible urge to titter sweeps round the room - and grown men grimace with the effort of subduing their snorting while the ladies have to cling to each other for physical support.
It's at this point that management reveals true leadership. As Brian really loses it and begins to beat his oppo vigorously around the bonce with a stapler while fending off potentially lethal retaliatory thrusts from a plastic ruler, the Head of Department saunters in and immediately sums up the situation.
"Is there a problem?" he asks, at a swoop demonstrating superb insight and fully justifying his free parking space for the next decade, before backing out of the room nervously with the first twinge of the Executive Stress which will require at least three days off playing golf to cure.
Funnily enough, most of the time there's a happy ending. The two protagonists generally form a bond for life, everyone else has had a great time and the office gossip machine has enough fuel to keep running for months - and it's better for team building than anything!
